Empty threats have to be one of the useless attempts to parent a child. You see it all the time, at the mall, at the park, at school – parents pleading with their little angel to shut the hell up and behave. Occasionally it will work as the child becomes distracted for two minutes before picking up where he or she left off.
I had the pleasure of witnessing such a scenario. By the end, I felt embarrassed. I was embarrassed for the mother as her attempts to control her hooligan sounded more like a surrender to his antics.
I work for a telecommunications company and our office also includes a retail space. My desk is located around the corner of the retail space. Most days are quiet, but the odd time I get a first hand glimpse to the wonderful people of the community.
Today was one of those days. A lady came to the office with her son (about 5 years old) and immediately the little guy was bouncing off the walls. My first thought was that kids are energetic – you can’t expect them to be total drones while out in public.
As I paid closer attention, I heard the mother’s attempt at discipline:
“Time out for running inside!”
“Please stop running, that’s how you broke your arm in the first place” (say what?!)
“Inside voice, please stop!”
“I’m going to tell your dad you’re being bad!” (Classic!)
A swift “NO” from the boy then shut down the mother – she gave up wrestling this gator and let him roam free. This went on for twenty minutes until the mother was finished and left.
There is one golden rule that I try to live by. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. This goes for rewards and discipline. You wouldn’t think twice about promising a trip to the park so why not time outs? Children crave structure. Kids need to know that you will keep your word – good or bad.
Inconsistent parenting leads to children that don’t accept boundaries. They will constantly push as they try to find the line in the sand. A no yesterday is a no today and will be a no tomorrow.
So c’mon parents, step up. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
Photos courtesy of: Bah Humbug & Grant MacDonald
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Very good points! I recently read an article suggesting parents must be a wall. A wall does not budge, the wall will always be hard and immovable and no matter how many times the child goes up against it, they will always loose, so they soon learn to stop going up against it. Same, the theory goes, works with parents if they continue to enforce the same rules with the same consequences. Soon they will back away. Unfortunately, unlike the wall, there are so many different ways to ‘push’ against the parent, that sometimes, unlike the wall, the rules/consequences fall away. (at least with me! sometimes the ‘enforcer’ needs a break, and really, every once in a while an out of control child is easier than reigning him in!!). Ok, i admit it, I’m a bad mom
I like that analogy Naomi, and its true. I like to call it tough love. Tough but fair. But I think there is a door in my wall, a door that unlocks for those sad baby blues!
I didn’t realize you were watching me! jk, but seriously I hate that too! Especially when i find myself starting down that road..