Yesterday I was playing with Little Miss’ blocks because they are obviously awesome, duh. I had a kickass tower built until Little Miss came over ‘as a matter of factly’ and knocked over my tower with one swift kick of her little foot.

No blocks today Daddy, you go to the grocery store.

Just to confirm I heard correctly:

You want Daddy to go to the grocery store?

Which was followed by:

Yes, you go buy food. Now. No blocks.

And that concluded my tower building shenanigans.

=(
 

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He looks down at her, she looks up at him.
From that first moment, a bond is formed.
Her entire hand, wrapped around his finger.

She is his reason for living.
One little monster, and one human jungle gym.
He is the defender of evil and boogey monsters.
She is reason for too many sleepless nights.
Super hero in her eyes, and angel in his.
Dolls, dresses, and ponytails become his world.
Teaching her right from wrong, they won’t always see eye to eye.
Twisted around her little finger, and his entire world.

It’s just a dad and his daughter.

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Ask any dad what their favorite room of the house is. I guarantee a not so surprisingly large amount of dads will tell you their favorite room is the bathroom. Sounds odd I know, but there is a very good reason.

It’s not because of the tooth paste splattered mirror. And it’s definitely not because of the froofy decorative towels. It’s because as a dad, the bathroom is the one place that gives a man total privacy and protection from little sticky, whiny monsters usually referred to as CHILDREN.

A man on the can is surrounded only by his thoughts. His only concern is the increasing numbness in the legs. That is assuming you’ve taking the proper precautions to ensure an uninterrupted, relaxing experience.

The first step to your very own porcelain sanctuary is to invest in a sturdy door lock, and use it. Nothing slams you back into reality quicker than a two year old barging in with your pants around your ankles. Double check or even triple check the lock before parking your behind.

The second step to ceramic serenity is to use the exhaust fan to your advantage. Your wife will think you’re being considerate, but really it’s to give you the illusion of being alone, perhaps on a toilet, in the middle of the jungle, next to a raging waterfall.

The third step is the most important. It can mean the difference between an entertaining break from reality, and reading the back of the shampoo bottle. Bring your smart phone. It’s a little known fact that this was Steve Jobs’ reason behind the iPhone. Hundreds of games and the internet in the palm of your hand provides you with an infinite amount of entertainment until your legs fall asleep.

And there you go, follow these three easy steps and your too can turn your bathroom into your private oasis.

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1. Life as a Dad: Sticky Situation

Snooze, sleep, siesta, rest, or nap. Whatever you call it, toddlers hate it and parents love it. When it’s time for Little Miss’ nap, I can be seen skipping around the house collecting blankets, soother, and her favorite doll. Yup, I’m that guy and I love naps!

Some kids love naps and go down without a fuss. I hope to one day experience this phenomenon.

But what do you do when your toddler decides napping is a waste of time? She might think her time is better spent harassing the cat or coloring, but guess what little girl… you’re wrong!

Now, you could tie your toddler to their bed, or look into crate training. (We’ll that that Plan B, for now) But before going to such extremes check out the below tips to win the battle against a nap fighting child.

Treat Naps Like bedtime

Bedtime and naptime should follow the same routine if possible. If your child gets tucked in a certain way, or reads a certain book, or has a specific bed time toy for bedtime – keep it the same for naps.

Room darkening blinds are also a good way to fool you little loin fruit into thinking its night time.

Same Time, Same Place

Same bat time, same bat channel. Despite the oddly snug tights, and cheesy onomatopoeic words, (ZONK!) Batman had the right idea. Naps should be at the same time, and place each day. (When possible)

If your child knows that after lunch is naptime – without questions – they will accept their fate and hopefully resist less. Consistent parenting is key.

White Noise

Kids have superhuman hearing at the most inopportune times. You could detonate a barrel of TNT, next to them while they watch TV and not even see a flinch. Yet during nap time, every creak, squeak, or fart is a reason to get up and investigate.

For example, a fan or soft music can help drown out any distracting noise keeping your toddler awake.

Beware of the Overtired Toddler

Does your child go through more mood swings than a hormonal teenager or perhaps your wife during that time of the month?

Sounds like your toddler is overtired.

Avoid this at all costs. You might think that the longer your toddler is awake, the better they will sleep. Once your child gets to the point of being over tired, they will be moody, wired, and just a bag of misery.

This is a rookie mistake that will bite you in the ass.

Instead of a Nap, Encourage Quiet Time

Every child is different, and so are their sleep requirements. Most children between the ages of 2 and 4 need about 12 hours of sleep per day. So if your toddler is sleeping 12 hours a night, she might not need a long nap or even a nap at all.

If your child is like my daughter, who needs 12 to 15 hours of sleep per day, he or she may not be ready to give up their nap. She simply needs her nap or else she is a monster by dinner time.

But if your child gets enough sleep a night, he or she might be ready to give up naps altogether. To be honest, I dread the inevitable day that Little Miss no longer naps. I look forward to naptime like a kid on Christmas Eve. It’s a well needed break where daddy can sit, relax, and not be a human jungle gym.

Even if you have decided that your child can make it through the day without a nap, you should still schedule some quiet time during the day. Encourage your child to read a book, do puzzles, or play with some quiet toys in bed.

If your toddler still needs a nap but refuses, quiet time might even settle her down enough to fall asleep.

Now, if none of these naptime tips works, I give you permission to try crate training. Go for it!

Do you have a child that won’t nap?

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1. How much sleep does one baby need?
2. How I Fixed Our Toddlers Poor Sleep in 1 Night
3. Baby Sleep Tips

Our children bring joy, love, and wonder into our lives. Their bright eyes and innocence fill us with an indescribable amount of pride, and happiness. Everything they do, everything they say is amazing.

But children aren’t as innocent as they seem. You see, these creatures posses a remarkable talent. It’s a talent so astonishing it practically defies the laws of physics.

Kids make everything sticky

It starts as drool and spit up. Luckily a newborn’s range is restricted to whoever is the unlucky soul holding them.

But then the sticky baby grows into a sticky monster and become mobile. Suddenly toys, remotes, cell phones, and anything that you were dumb enough to leave in the path of destruction is coated in sticky baby goo.

It only gets worse from here man. Soon they will be eating real food like fruit, spaghetti, gravy, candy, and chocolate chips! Those grubby fingers will find their ways to each and every surface of your house. Some of it will annoy you, and others will leave you in awe. I mean, how does a two year get yogurt on the ceiling? It’s inhuman!

You’ll fight it at first. But resistance is futile. You’ve been wrapped around that little sticky finger since the day she was born.

And whatever you do, avoid the sticky monster’s secret weapon.

If caught, it will be impossible to fight. You will be stuck in your sticky situation (har har).

And what is that secret weapon? It’s the sticky kiss on the cheek. The bear hug with chocolate covered hands. And the most dangerous of all, the little smile covered in what can only be described as… miscellaneous gunk.

You’ve been warned.

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1. Life as a Dad: Porcelain Sanctuary

The six month sleep regression is a disruption of your child’s sleep starting at the age of 6 months (hence the name…) but can make an appearance anytime between the ages of 6 and 9 months.

Sleep deprived parents just can’t get a break! AQDKTCTY54YA

Your baby is finally sleeping longer, and waking less. The 4 month sleep regression is only mere memory nightmare. But now it feels like all that hard work and patience has been for nothing, right?

What causes the 6 month sleep regression?

• Brain Development. Your baby is becoming more aware of the world around her. Every day is filled with new discoveries that her growing brain can’t process during the day so it kicks into overtime at night.
• Teething. Most babies sprout their first tooth between 4 and 7 months of age. Your baby’s gums could be sore from a little white sleep inhibitor getting ready to break through.
• Developmental milestones. Babies are busy creatures. At 6 months old, your baby is learning new skills and tricks faster than a puppy on Adderall. Not that I regularly compare babies to dogs, but the analogy seems to fit. Rolling, lunging, sitting up, as well as recognizing voices and sounds can all be in your baby’s bag of tricks. And sometimes there just isn’t enough daylight to get your practice on, so what’s a baby to do? Pull an all nighter and practice of course!
• Growth spurt. While your baby is eating, playing, crying, or pooping, she is also growing. These little loin fruits grow at a remarkable speed, and around 6 months they kick it into overdrive. This means you’re going to have one hungry, hungry baby. You can try to stuff her full before bedtime, but your efforts may be futile.

How do I fix it?

• Put on your thinking hat. Now’s your opportunity to impress your spouse. Reading this post is a great start, but you need to take it one step further. Make a list of the possible causes of a sleep regression. Now look at each one individually. As you rule out a cause, cross it off your list. Not only will it make you look like a genius, it’ll help you narrow down the cause of the sleep regression.
• Keep it simple. The worst way to handle a sleep regression is to try and tackle every possible scenario at once. Increasing temperature or decreasing temperature, more snacks or fewer snacks, bath or no bath, medicating or not medicating… you’ll drive yourself crazy.
• Think long term. Sleep regressions don’t last forever. Usually things go back to normal after two to three weeks.  So don’t create bad habits for a short term problem. For example, if the only way to get your baby to sleep a warm blanket from the dryer, milk, three stories while being swaddled… you might have a problem. It’s hard to resist, but fight the urge to give into the quick fixes that will bite you in the ass later on. Stick with a sleep routine that won’t drive you crazy.

Remember, it’s normal. But it sucks.

For more info check out the sleep regression FAQ and overcoming sleep regression.

Related posts:

1. Sleep Regression & Babies
2. Overcoming Baby Sleep Regression
3. Sleep Regression: Frequently Asked Questions

Take a second and think back to your childhood. Think back to all your favorite childhood toys. Chances are one of them are on this list.

Some toys are fads. Some toys are plastic junk. Some toys are a blur of fancy lights and are disturbingly loud. And then there are the toys that are timeless. They have survived decades of children and are still popular even today.

Here are 15 timeless toys (battery free) that will never get old.

Prepare to be punched in the face with nostalgia.

1. Mr. Potato Head

2. Lego

3. Wooden Trail Set

4. Baby Dolls

5. Hot Wheels

6. Etch-a-Sketch

7. Play-Doh

8. Puzzles

9. Stacking Cups

10. Pull Along Dog

11. Doll House

12. Stuffed Animals

13. Crayons

14. Toy Phone

Bonus!

15. Ordinary, Everyday Cardboard Box!

What was that one toy from your childhood that you think stands the test of time? Let us know in the comments!

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1. 5 Toys that don’t suck: Baby edition

I have a deep voice that gets loud while in hulk smash mode. A couple weeks ago CleverMom was trying to grab hold of Little Miss so she could put on her pajamas. Little Miss refused to listen and ran around like a lunatic. Finally I snapped. I stood up, put on my mean face and yelled.

“Knock it off, RIGHT NOW!”

Little Miss jumped out of her skin and crumbled to the floor as if my words smacked her in the face. She cried “Daddy scared me.” and my heart was instantly shattered. How could I do that to my little girl? Did I really accomplish anything besides scaring the shit out her?

Yelling teaches kids to yell back

How many times have you yelled at your kids to stop yelling? I’m guilty of this. Seems silly when you think about it. Kids learn by example. If they see you yelling in an attempt to get what you want, they will do it too. Monkey see, monkey do.

They won’t take you seriously until you raise your voice

Eventually your loin fruit are going to tune out any demands that are not repeated a thousand times and above a certain decibel level. Unless it’s something fun or benefits them, then suddenly they are able to hear a slight whisper from across the house.
Constant yelling will turn you into Charlie Brown’s teacher. A pair of legs, wearing a dress and… waa… waa… waa… wa…

Yelling kills the chance for conversation

Being married to a pregnant woman, I’ve been yelled at a lot. If you’ve ever loaded the dishwasher incorrectly, forgot the separate the laundry, bought the wrong oranges, then you’ve been there with me. It’s not fun.
As a parent, we should be opening the lines of communication, and encourage our kids to use big boy, or big girl worlds. Yelling at your child turns the conversation completely one sided. Give ‘em a chance to explain themselves. Sometimes their reasoning is justifiable, or at the very least, so stupid that it’s hilarious.

Constant Yelling Ruins the Effectiveness

Sometimes yelling is necessary. If for example, your son or daughter is about wander onto a busy road or towards a gaggle of geese (Who are assholes by the way!). That would be an acceptable reason to yell at your little loin fruit.
Constant yelling wears of the effectiveness. If you’re always screaming about picking up toys, or brushing teeth, there will be no shock value left when you really need it.

Please retweet, stumble, or share this post if you found it remotely helpful. Do your part, and help a fellow dad become awesome-er!

If you haven’t already, subscribe to the feed so you can keep up to date with the latest posts on CleverFather!

Photos courtesy of: Kiwanja & Kandyjaxx

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Seems like every week I discover a new dad blog to read. Its amazing how many super awesome dad blogs are out there just waiting to be discovered. But I guess having kids, and being a dad means plenty of inspiration.
Here are 5 dad blogs that have found their way into my bookmarks. Check them out!

Listed in no particular order, although I will accept bribes for future posts. *wink wink*

1. The DaddyYo Dude. John is a self proclaimed geek, cook, writer and social medial addict. Living in the mountains of southwest Virgina, John writes about his two children as well as the challenges of being a father.
   
   
2. Daddy Geek Boy. Its a Dad, its a geek, its…. Daddy Geek Boy! Proof that age is just a number. Living with two kids, a wife, and two cats, Daddy Geek Boy writes about the life as a dad with a twist of geek.
   
   
3. The Stay at Homer. Russ is a stay at home dad. With a superhero wife and two boys he is living the dream. Russ’ blog is stuffed full with parenting advice, green living, and his life as a stay at home dad.
   
   
4. Hanging with Dad. Adventures of a stay at home dad. It doesn’t take long to see how much Adam enjoys being a SAHD. Whether its a reviews, or pictures of the latest adventure with his little guy, Adam has you covered!
   
   
5. The Daddy Complex. David is a work at home dad. (WAHD?) A professional writer with twin boys means this is a gold mine for great stories. Check out the very informative Shit They Don’t Tell You About Fatherhood series!
   
   

Do you want your blog included in the next dad blog roundup (Who doesn’t enjoy a little bit of free promotion?)

All you have to do is retweet this post and drop your website link in the comments below! Mom blogs are welcomed too. 

Then sit back and watch your e-fame swell to epic proportions!

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1. 5 Dad blogs you should be reading

It’s 4:00am, and your little monster is up for the fourth time since bedtime. She’s been up multiple times a night for over a week now. You can’t even remember the last time you had a full night’s sleep.

Sounds familiar?

I wrote a few posts last year about sleep regression and babies, overcoming sleep regression… They have since become the most popular posts on CleverFather so it’s safe to assume two things. Sleeping problems are very common, and parents need help!

How tell if your child’s sleeping issue is a habit or sleep regression?

When parents talk about sleep regression they are usually referring to 5 phase that most children go through. During these phases, your child’s sleep routine can be turned upside down. My personal experience and research that most children will go through some sort of sleep regression near the following ages:

• 4 months
• 8 months
• 1 year
• 18 months
• 2 year

Sleep regression’s usually last two to three weeks and has many causes. Some of the more popular causes are teething, developmental milestones, growth spurt, anxiety, and boundary testing.

What’s the difference between sleep regression and poor sleeping habits?

I’d say about two to three weeks. If you have a sudden sleep change, try giving it a couple weeks to see if something reveals itself. There could be a tooth ready to breakthrough, or maybe an illness. If you can’t find a culprit, or there is no end in sight it might be time to intervene. If the change doesn’t go away on its own, it can become a habit that needs to be broken.

You’re tired, and grumpy, and your mind is a fog. Don’t let it cloud your instincts and good judgment. You know your kid better than anyone. Its way too easy to give in and do whatever it takes to just get them to sleep.

Think outside the box and fix the cause, not the symptom!

Good luck!

Related posts:

1. Sleep Regression: Frequently Asked Questions
2. Sleep Regression & Babies
3. Overcoming Baby Sleep Regression