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Life as a Dad: 4 Jobs We All Share

Have you ever stopped to think about how many different roles we have as dads? Some are fun, and some are serious. But in the end, they are all important and being a dad means we are more than happy to do these jobs… even if they pay stinks.


A Dad's ResumeOnce Little A was old enough to play with lego, I became lead designer and builder of towers, bridges, and whatever else popped into her little mind. This is great because I love playing with lego, and Little A likes to smash things. Its win, win.

But after a while, my basic tower design were not enough. She demanded more elaborate towers. Her appetite for bigger and better towers turned into a battle against myself to constant approve and innovate until we reached the structural limits of lego as a pointy multicolored shower of plastic crashed to the floor.

Fashion Consultant

CleverMom is very particular in what she wants the girls to wear. This is usually fine as she picks out the girl’s clothes 90% of the time. But when she is busy, or isn’t home it’s up to dad.

If it was up to me I would close my eyes, reach into their dresser and pull out the first shirt and pair of pants I touch. According to my wife this is wrong. Very very wrong. You see, CleverMom is a clothing freak when it comes to the girls. She has her favorite outfits, not so favorite outfits, and what the hell were you thinking outfits.

With so much pressure and judgment over picking the ‘wrong’ pink shirt, or the jeans with the purple flower over the pair with no flower, I’ve had to adapt and overcome my fashion blindness. So what do I do? Keep it simple. Now is not the time to get fancy. And if the wife disapproves of my choice, I blame it on Little A. (Don’t look at me, she picked the purple skirt and red sweater!)

Art Critic

A Dad's ResumeSooner or later your kids will wanting to draw color on every piece of paper within reach. (If you’re lucky, this will be the only thing they color on.)

So you buy them a pack of crayons and a stack of paper. Finally, something quiet they can do on their own and keep them in one place for more than 10 minutes. But there is a catch. Your kids will show you every piece of art and expect you to comment and know exactly what they drew. “That’s a nice… house?” “It’s a kitty, daddy!”

Even if you can’t tell if it’s an elephant or a penguin, appreciate it for what it is…. Art.

Professional Wrestler

Trying to change a shitty diaper on a flailing baby is physically exhausting. Pinning their legs with one arm. Pulling off the diaper with the other. Cleaning their butt with your foot. And eventually fastening the diaper with your teeth.

And then there is trying to put pajamas on a cranky toddler! It’s like holding onto a pissed off cat. They will scale over your shoulders, hang off your legs, and contort their bodies in ways that defies all logic.

After having quite a few heated pajama battles with Little A, I am confident to say that I could even put pajamas on Hulk Hogan if I had to.


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Photos: Chunker & Ninja M



  1. Kudos to you sir on the proper usage of the word ‘lego.’ Also, I love putting the kids in ridiculous outfits just to see what their mother does. Why are women so picky about clothes!?

  2. I would add Hazmat Technician.

    Between the diaper loads that would gag a buzzard, the back seat covered in fermented milk and hairy raisins, and the high chair that smell’s slightly worse than my county dump, I think I now qualify.

  3. Good call. We found a bottle that has been lost for well… too long. Needless to say it was properly destroyed as hazardous material.

  4. Things change when they get older and they’re boys 🙂

    Funnily enough though, my wife is also the family fashion Nazi, errr, guru – mind you though, I prefer it that way since she’s got way better taste than myself.

    And try to get a 17 year old boy to dress in any other way than how he wants to. That’ll be your next challenge when your kids get a bit older.

    Funny post, Chris.