Our children bring joy, love, and wonder into our lives. Their bright eyes and innocence fill us with an indescribable amount of pride, and happiness. Everything they do, everything they say is amazing.
But children aren’t as innocent as they seem. You see, these creatures posses a remarkable talent. It’s a talent so astonishing it practically defies the laws of physics.
Kids make everything sticky
It starts as drool and spit up. Luckily a newborn’s range is restricted to whoever is the unlucky soul holding them.
But then the sticky baby grows into a sticky monster and become mobile. Suddenly toys, remotes, cell phones, and anything that you were dumb enough to leave in the path of destruction is coated in sticky baby goo.
It only gets worse from here man. Soon they will be eating real food like fruit, spaghetti, gravy, candy, and chocolate chips! Those grubby fingers will find their ways to each and every surface of your house. Some of it will annoy you, and others will leave you in awe. I mean, how does a two year get yogurt on the ceiling? It’s inhuman!
You’ll fight it at first. But resistance is futile. You’ve been wrapped around that little sticky finger since the day she was born.
And whatever you do, avoid the sticky monster’s secret weapon.
If caught, it will be impossible to fight. You will be stuck in your sticky situation (har har).
And what is that secret weapon? It’s the sticky kiss on the cheek. The bear hug with chocolate covered hands. And the most dangerous of all, the little smile covered in what can only be described as… miscellaneous gunk.
You’ve been warned.
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Tagged as: Dad Tips


{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
What’s a little sticky? I conceded defeat on the household front years ago. Our living room is full of toys. Our yard is a veritable “town park” full of slacklines, sandboxes, etc. Once in a while I’ll remove the car seats from the car, look at the petri dish growing beneath them, and regret taking them out in the first place. My name is on the mortgage but it’s entirely clear to me who really owns this house
Alexis recently posted..Safe Baby Sleep or Hatchet Job?
Great post. Thought it was well said! I have seven kids and twins that are 2 and a half year old. We are so in this stage. I love your article. I hope you look at my blog at a href=”http://www.thecribhub.com” rel=”nofollow”www.thecribhub.com/a where we have a great a href=”http://www.thecribhub.com/page/444435580″ rel=”nofollow”crib sale/a.
Molly Minks recently posted..The Labor Process: Game Day
Absolutely hilarious. Any parent can understand this situation. It is funny because my wife and I used to talk about how picky I was with the cleanliness of things as they get dirty from everything possible from the kids. Now it doesn’t bother me, I just help clean up and move on. Thanks for the great post.
Colin recently posted..It Is That Time of Year Again
aww what a cute post. i know the feeling ahaha, i’m not a mom yet but i used to take care of my nephew for 2 years
ava21smith recently posted..How Does One Cope With Panic Attacks
Stickiness is why we went through a whole summer without eating popsicles at our house and that, barring inclement weather, my kids eat drippy, sticky foods outside on the deck. Only after they have washed their hands are they allowed back in.
I so feel your pain with this.
As I look at the windows that are hand print covered and my son just ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and decided to play in the sandwich, getting peanut butter alll over his fingers.
This will pass, but it will be a while.
Regina recently posted..Black Eyed Friday
i know it’s messy, but seeing how they look are too funny! it’s priceless hehe.
Kaz recently posted..Non Chexsystems Banks in New York
Buy stock in wet wipes, or have a washcloth at your side at all times.
And know you will rarely have print free windows again.
Crazy Nuts Mom recently posted..Savor Family Flavor